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An Alarm of Fire 



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THE iHAZONS Farce ta Three Aots- SeTen males > a *« * emaies. 
Costumes, modern ; scenery, not difficult. Plays 
a full evening, 

THE CABINET MINISTER **«»«»*«>«*«*. TenmaJes.nin© 
females. Costumes, modern society ; 
scene* y, three Interiors. Plays a full evening. 

DANDY DICK V%rce ** Three Act8 ° Seven males > four ^maies. 
Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays 
two hours and a half. 

THE fiAY LORD ODEX Comed y lnFourA ct 8 Four males ten 
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two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

HIS HOUSE IN ORDER Comed y mFourActs = Nine males, fonT 
A females. Costumes, modern ; scenery^ 

three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE HOBBY HORSE Comed y to Th ™ Acts < Ten males, five 
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Plays two hours and a halt 

IRIS I)rama ^ Five Acts = Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
modem ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

LADY BOUNTIrUL Play ^ Four Act8 ° Eight males ' seven fo " 

males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four in- 
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LETTY Drama in Four Acts ^Qd «Q Epilogue. Ten males, five fe- 
^ males. Costumes, modern ; scenery complicated. Plays a 

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No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



An Alarm of Fire 



A Comedy in One Act 



By 
HELEN SHERMAN GRIFFITH 

Author of "The Scarlet Bonnet," "The 
Wrong Miss Mather" etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

i 9 u 



f£35 



\3 






An Alarm of Fire 



CHARACTERS 



Mrs. Jordan, the hostess. 

Miss Katherine Jordan, her daughter. 

Miss Eloise James, a visitor. 

Miss Anne Lane, 1 

Mr. Ambrose Lane, V from a neighboring cottage. 

Mr. Arthur Grey, ) 

Mr. Alfred Forbes, a caller [who stammers). 

Katy, the maid. 




Copyright, 191 1, by Walter H, Baker & Co. 



© CI. D II 



An Alarm of Fire 



SCENE. — Drawing-room of Mrs. Jordan's seaside cottage, 
simply furnished with wicker and cretonnes. Entrances 
back and each side ; entrance right side draped as a French 
ivindow leading to a veranda. Curtain rises on empty 
stage. Bell heard. 

Enter Katy, back, ushering in Mr. Alfred Forbes, who 
lays his card on the silver salver Katy carries, without 
speaking. Exit Katy, back, with card on salver. 
Forbes stands, hat and stick in hand, facing audience. 

Forbes (stammering). I'm g-g — (whistling) going to pro- 
pro-propose to Miss J-J — Katherine to-night if I b-b-bust ! 
I'm not a b-b-b — not in the least nervous, but I'll rehearse my 
sp-sp-sp — {quickly) what I am going to s-s-say. {Strikes atti- 
tude.) My d-d-dear Katherine, I lo-lo — {whistling) lo-lo — 

(quickly) am in love with you. Will you m-m-ma Hang 

it, I've g-g-got to say m-m-m — (whistling) marry ! (He lis- 
tens.) I think she's c-c c-coming. Wh-what shall I say? 
Oh, I'll p-p-pitch right in while it's on my t-t-tongue. (Hears 
some one enter.) My dear Ka-ka-ka 

Enter Katy. 

Katy (coyly). Yes, sir, Katy, sir. Did you wish to speak 
to me, sir ? 

Forbes (turning). Oh, d-d — Jiminy ! N-n-no, thank you, 
Katy. 

Katy (disappointed). Oh, very well, sir. Miss Jordan 
will be down right away. She says would you mind waitin' 
outside, sir, as the evenin' is so warm. 

[Exit back, with a little flounce. 

Forbes (mopping his brow with his handkerchief), It is 
rather w-w-w — hot. I'll c-c-cool off outside. 

3 



4 AN ALARM OF FIRE 

(Exit R., onto veranda. Short pause, then sounds of slight 
scuffle and laughter off L.) 

Enter Miss Eloise James, l., backward, as if being forced on. 

Eloise. Oh, Mr. Forbes, good-evening. Katherine wished 
me to say {Turns.) Why, he isn't here ! 

Enter Miss Katherine Jordan, l. 

Kath. Of course he isn't, goose. I sent word for him to 
wait on the veranda. It will be easier out there. 

Eloise {sympathetically). Yes, it always is easier on a 
veranda. 

Kath. By moonlight ! 

Eloise. There isn't any moon. 

Kath. There will be. It rises in an hour. {Dreamily.) 
And with the gentle sounds of the wavelets on the beach ! 

Eloise {dryly). Lots easier. Particularly when you have 
to refuse him. 

Kath. {starting). Refuse him? 

Eloise. Katherine, you don't mean to say you are going 
to marry a man who stammers ? Why, I'd be st-st-stuttering 
all the t-t-time. I can hardly help it now. It's terribly 
c-c-catching. 

Kath. {offended). You need not make fun of my Alfred. 

Eloise. Your Alfred ! And yet you were trying to ward 
off the proposal ! 

Kath. I ward off the proposal ? 

Eloise. Yes, by insisting upon my coming in here with 
you to 

Kath. {glancing off r.). Sh-sh — he'll hear you ! I only 
wanted your support until I — well, until I got my nerve up. 

Eloise {moving toivard door l.). Oh, of course, if you 
mean to take him 

Kath. {hastily ; drawing her back). But I don't mean to 
yet. Please wait. 

Eloise. Katherine, think of it. A man who stammers ! 
What will your mother say ? 

Kath. {glancing off r.). Sh-sh ! {Angrily.) Well, I'd 
rather marry a man with a mild defect in speech than one with 
a name that every one puns on. When you are Mrs. Ambrose 
Lane 

Eloise {embarrassed). Oh, Kathie ! 



AN ALARM OF FIRE 5 

Kath. {inexorably). You will give your name in a depart- 
ment store and walk off under the impression that you've given 
the address. 

Eloise {pouting). You mean thing ! 

Kath. And I suppose you'll name your home "Wayside," 
and all the little Lanes will be 

Eloise (angrily). I shall not stay to hear another word ! 
You are most unkind ! 

(She moves toward door l., her handkerchief to her eyes.) 

Kath. {pulling her back). There, there, Elly dear, I was 
a beast ! Please forgive me ! Only don't say another word 
against Alfred. It makes me feel raging. (CoTtftdentially .) 
I'll tell you a secret; I've heard of a splendid specialist who 
has cured hundreds of cases of stam 

{Enter Forbes, r. ) 

Forbes. I b-b-beg pardon, but I thought Ka-ka 

[Exit Eloise, softly, l., unnoticed. 

Kath. (quickly, coming forward with outstretched hand). 
Oh, good-evening, Mr. Forbes. Please excuse me for keeping 

you waiting. But my friend and I You have met my 

friend, Eloise James, who is visiting me? Eloise, this is 

{Turns.) Why, she has gone! She will be back in a mo- 
ment. {Nervously.) Sit down, won't you ? 

{They seat themselves, quite far apart.) 

Forbes {nervously). Th-th-thank you. 

Kath. (awkwardly). It is warm this evening, isn't it ? 

Forbes (abstractedly). Yes — yes — w-w-warm. (Short 
pause.) But not too w-w-w — {quickly) hot for the time of 
year. 

Kath. No, I suppose not — of course not. Has the moon 
come up yet? 

Forbes (restless in his chair). Not yet. The m-m-moon- 
light is lovely, isn't it, Miss J- J- Jordan? So — so sentimental. 

Kath. (rising). Yes — ah — yes. (Hastily and abruptly.) 
Shall we go into the library, Mr. P'orbes ? My mother is in 
there and she will be so glad to see you. 

Forbes {rising). Your m-m-mother? Not just yet, 
pl-pl-please ! (Kath. sits, looking off l., nervously. Forbes 
seats himself again, somewhat nearer to Kath. Forbes, 



O AN ALARM OF FIRE 

embarrassed.} F-f-fact is, Miss J- J- Jordan, I — I — thought 
I'd like — like — like — well, to s-s-say something. I — I — I'll 
g-g-get at it presently. It's 

Enter Mrs. J., back. Sees Forbes and greets him with some- 
what over-impressive cordiality, frowning aside. Forbes 
rises to return her greeting. 

Mrs. J. {shaking hands). Oh, how do you do, Mr. 
Forbes? It is a warm evening, isn't it? Have you been here 
long? No one told me that you had called. (Aside.) Poor 
man ! So sad to have such an affliction ! Katherine looks 
quite worn out with entertaining him. I'll help her. (To 
Forbes, as he brings fonuard a chair.) Oh, thank you so 
much. This is my favorite chair. I'll sit here by the light, 
thank you, where I can see to knit. Mr. Forbes, will you 
please fetch me my work-bag ? It's that green one, over there 
on the back of that chair. (Aside to Kath. as Forbes crosses 
to fetch bag.) The thing to do, daughter, is to do all the talk- 
ing ourselves. I'll help you. (To Forbes.) Oh, thank you. 
Yes, that's just right. Sit down. I like to have my fingers 
busy while I talk, don't you? ah — that is, men keep their 
brains so busy I suppose their fingers aren't needed. That is 
— (as Forbes starts to say something) ah — it's a warm even- 
ing, isn't it ? We have had such a quiet day, to-day. This 
morning, right after breakfast, we — ah — let me see. Kath- 
erine, what was it we did right after breakfast this morning ? 

Kath. {wearily). How can you expect me to remember, 
mother ? Mr. Forbes won't be interested in knowing what we 
did directly after breakfast, would you, Mr. Forbes ? 

Forbes. Oh, I f-f-f-feel intensely interested, I assure you. 
Ith-th-th 

Mrs. J. (hastily). Oh, of course — we waited for the post- 
man! (Kath. smothers a yawn.) Don't you remember, 
Katherine, that interesting circular that came about the great 
reduction sale of 

Kath. (warningly). Mother ! 

Mrs. J. (recollecting herself). Oh, to be sure ! Ahem ! — 
And the other circular, of the new pianola music. Mr. Forbes, 

our pianola is quite (Enter Katy, back; speaks to 

Mrs. J., aside. Mrs. J., reluctantly.) Oh, all right, Katy. 
I'll come at once. (Puts her knitting back in bag. Exit 
Katy, back. Mrs. J. rises and lays bag on table.) I am 
very sorry, but I have to go and see the cook. It's her night 



AN ALARM OF FIRE 7 

off, and she wants her orders for breakfast before she goes. 
Isn't it trying? I'm so sorry. 

Forbes (rising). D-d-don't mention it. 

Mrs. J. {moving toward door, back). I'll return the very 
first second I can get away. 

Forbes {earnestly). D-d-don't hurry, I beg ! 

Mrs. J. {at door, smiling and trying to catch her daughter's 
eye). And I'll send Eloise right in. 

[Exit, back, s?niling and gracious. 

Forbes {gloomily). N-n-now w-w-why does she want to 
s-s-send M-M-M— (whistling) Eloise in ? I say, Miss J-J-Jor- 
dan, just let me g-g-get going, won't you? I've g-g-got 
some— some— something awfully important to s-s-say to you ! 
You know I 1-1-love 

(Sound of laughter and gay voices without.) 

Kath. (rising hurriedly). Oh, dear, I do believe a stupid 
lot of visitors are coming ! I (Looks toiuard door r.) 

Forbes (eagerly, looking r.). C-c-couldn't we step out 
there ? I— I— I w-w-want 

Kath. (shaking her head). It wouldn't be any use. Eloise 
knows that we are here, and they would all follow us out. 
Here they come. 

Enter Eloise, back, folloived by Miss Anne Lane, Mr. Am- 
brose Lane and Mr. Arthur Grey. 

^ Eloise. Katherine, here are some visitors. Isn't it de- 
lightful ? I met them on their way here as I ran out to post a 
letter. r 

(Kath. shakes hands all round. Forbes greets Anne and 
Lane; they and Eloise talk aside.) 

Kath. (shaking hands with each in turn). How do you 
do, Anne, Ambrose and you, too, Mr. Grey ! (Embarrassed) 
This is a surprise. When did you get down from town? 
Allow me to present Mr. Forbes, just down from town, too, 
for the week-end. Mr. Forbes, Mr. Grey. (The two men 
bow stiffly.) Mr. Grey, did they present you to my friend 
Miss James, who is visiting me ? 

Eloise {coming forward). Oh, yes, we were introduced 
outside but (archly) perhaps I'd better let Mr. Grey have a 
good look at me in the light, so he will surely know me again. 
Introductions in the dark are sometimes apt to be embarrassing. 



8 AN ALARM OF FIRE 

{Steps forward, the centre of the group. Grey eyes her 
with approval.) 

Lane {aside to Eloise, jealously). You'd better cut that 
out. It isn't safe, you know. 

Eloise {affecting ?iot to understand). Not safe? What 
isn't ? ( Turns and eyes Grey, who is talking to others.) You 
mean he isn't safe ? 

(Anne, Kath. and Grey talk animatedly. Forbes stands 
somewhat aloof looking glum and out of sorts.) 

Lane {to Eloise, attempting to be tender). I mean that it 
isn't safe to invite a man — any man — to study your charms, 
Miss James. Any fellow in his senses would fall in love with 
you before you could have time to turn around. 

(Eloise laughs and says so?nething aside. ) 

Kath. {looking worried). Suppose we all go out and sit 
on the veranda. It may be cooler there and — and 

Anne (kindly, helping her out). And it will be so pleasant 
to watch the moon rise out of the water. Mr. Forbes, don't 
you love to watch the moon rise? 

Forbes {startled at being suddenly addressed). I — I — 

I {Puckers his mouth for a whistle, then checks himself 

and says quickly.) D-d-do you know, Miss L-L-Lane, I 
c-c-can talk very w-w-well when I get g-g-going. I — I 

Anne {kindly). I am sure of it, Mr. Forbes. And you 
sing, too, don't you? Perhaps you will sing for us to-night? 

Kath. {joining them). Yes — out on the veranda. Come. 

{Leads way to door r. ; others follow. Enter Mrs. J., 
back, bustling and gracious. Every one turns.) 

Mrs. J. {shaking hands all round). Dear me, how nice ! 
How good of you to come on such a warm evening. How 
glad I am to see you all ! Mr. Grey {significantly), I am par- 
ticularly glad to see you again. Have you come for long? I 
hope we shall see a very great deal of you. 

Grey {pleased by her cordiality and casting a meaning 
glance toward Kath.). Your kind hope will certainly be 
gratified, Mrs. Jordan. You will see just about as much of 
me as you can bear ! {Laughs.) 



AN ALARM OF FIRE 9 

Forbes (aside, forcibly). D-d-d {Whistles tinder his 

breath.) Hang it ! 

Mrs. J. (beaming). Now, all of you, do come into the 
other room and hear my new pianola records. They came 
only this morning. 

Kath. But, mother, we were just going out to sit on the 
veranda. 

Mrs. J. No, no. It is much better sitting around the 
piano. Then we can all listen to the music and no one need 
bother to talk on this warm evening. (The young people tnove 
good-naturedly toward door l., except Forbes and Grey. 
Mrs. J. takes Forbes's arm.) Mr. Forbes, I particularly want 
you to hear them ; you are such a musician. Come. 

(Exit l., leading Forbes, who is reluctant. The rest fol- 
low except Grey and Kath.) 

Kath. (nervously). Come, Mr. Grey, Anne is waiting for 
you. 

Grey (looking off l.). No, she isn't. She is in there, sit- 
ting quite contentedly beside Mr. Forbes. 

Kath. (startittg). Sitting contentedly beside Mr. Forbes? 
What do you mean ? (Looks off l.) 

Grey. Never mind. Miss Jordan, don't you know why I 
have come back here? Why I come back for every week-end 
that I can possibly manage to get an invite ? 

Kath. (demurely, edging toward door l.). Why, to visit 
your old college chum, to be sure, and his charming sister. 

Grey. Miss Lane is charming, I admit — so will our friend, 

Forbes (Enter Forbes, l., hurriedly; collides with 

Kath., stammers and apologizes. Grey, aside, crossly.) 
Speak of — you know who ! 

Forbes. Oh, I'm s-s-so sorry — m-m-most awfully s-s-sorry, 
I assure you. I — I — I 

Kath. (laughing and adjusting her hair). Oh, Mr. Forbes, 
is mother's new music so bad that you had to run away from 
it? 

Forbes. N-n-no — no. Miss L-L-Lane dropped her han- 
han-handkerchief 

Kath. And you have come to look for it? I'll help you. 
Mr. Grey, do go in without waiting for us. Mother's feelings 
will be really hurt if so many of us stay away. 

Grey (stiffly). Very well. But I shall see you later. 

\_Exit, l., with dignity. 



10 AN ALARM OF FIRE 

Kath. (pretending to hunt for handkerchief}. I wonder if 
Anne really dropped it here ? 

Forbes. At 1-1-last ! Miss J-J- Jordan, I — I 

Kath. (nervously). Oh, Mr, Forbes, I'm so afraid some 

one will come I mean — do you suppose they would miss 

us very much if — if we went out and sat on the veranda ? I 
should be so sorry to miss seeing the moon rise. 

Forbes (with alacrity). The very thing ! 

(Fairly springs across roojn and off R.) 

Kath. (soliloquizing). Oh, what shall I do ? Shall I say 
yes? People seem to pity Alfred so! The hateful things! 
Why, I have often talked to him for whole evenings at a time, 
and he hardly stammered a bit. It is only when he's embar- 
rassed or — or worried. (Looks off r. ; whispers.) I love 
him ! Oh, what will mother say ! 

Mrs. J. (heard without). Katherine ! Katherine ! 

(Kath. listens in dismay, then tiptoes toward door r.) 

Reenter Forbes, r. 

Forbes (eagerly). We shall be in time for the m-m-moon- 
rise. Come ! 

Mrs. J. (heard without). Katherine — Ka-the-rine ! 

Kath. (disappointed). Oh, dear, mother is calling. I'm 
afraid I shall have to go. Oh, dear ! 

Forbes (desperately). C-c-can't we hide somewhere? 

Enter Mrs. J., l., followed by Grey, Anne and Eloise. 
They seat themselves in various parts of room. Anne 
crosses to Forbes ; they seat the?nselves side by side. Mrs. 
J. seats herself beside table and opens her work-bag. 

Grey (crossing to Kath.). You missed a very choice se- 
lection, Miss Jordan. Did you find the handkerchief? 

Eloise (to Kath.). Mr. Lane has gone home to fetch his 
banjo. We are going to sing some glees. 

Anne (kindly, aside to Forbes). And you can join us. 

Kath. (aside, crossly). That sounds like Ambrose ! 

Mrs. J. (complacently, knitting). Why don't you young 
people play some sort of game ? When I was young we always 
played round games in the evening. 



AN ALARM OF FIRE II 

Eloise (seating herself beside Mrs. J.). And just what is a 
round game, dear Mrs. Jordan ? 

Kath. (aside). Oh, can't I think of something to get them 
away? Anywhere — anything! If only there was an eclipse 
of a star or fireworks at the Casino ! Mother is trying to keep 
Mr. Forbes and me from being alone together, but instead of 
breaking off the match she is helping me to make up my mind. 
I just will have Alfred, now ! (Aloud.) Oh, mother, I've just 
thought of a jolly plan. Why can't we have a taffy pull ? It's 
the cook's night out and it would be such fun ! (Moves quickly 
toward door, back.) I'll start the taffy boiling at once, and 
call you all when it is ready to pull. Come, Mr. Forbes, and 
help me lift the heavy kettle. 

(Forbes moves toward door eagerly.) 

Mrs. J. (rising hastily and putting down her knitting). 
Stay right where you are, Katherine, and entertain your guests. 
(Gaily.) Fit be " Polly " and " put the kettle on." 

(Exit, back, in a bustle. Forbes reseats himself gloomily 
beside Anne.) 

Anne (sympathetically, aside to Forbes). Dear Mr. Forbes, 
I see how the land lies, and I'll help you all I can. 

(Forbes smiles and gives her hand a grateful squeeze. 
Kath. sees.) 

Kath. (aside). Well, upon my word ! Can I have been 
mistaken all this time? (She crosses to Grey, her head high 
in air.) Mr. Grey (gushingly), it was most awfully good of 
you to come all the way down to our quiet little cove, just for 
a week-end ! I hope we can make it pleasant for you ! 

(They talk aside, Grey earnestly, Kath. with nervous 
gayety.) 

Enter Lane, back, carrying banjo, followed in a second by 
Mrs. J. 

Mrs. J. (heartily). Now that is very nice, Mr. Lane. 
We'll just have time for one or two pretty little songs before 
the taffy boils. All you young people gather about in a circle 
and I'll be the audience. 



12 AN ALARM OF FIRE 

{Reseats herself by table and takes up knitting. Eloise and 
Forbes cross to Lane and seat themselves beside him. 
Kath. joins group.} 

Anne. Do you sing, Mr. Grey? 

Grey {crossing to Anne). I can come in strong on a 
chorus, but I am not much on solos. 

(Anne and Grey talk aside.) 

Lane {tuning banjo). What shall it be? 

Eloise. Something rollicking to start off with. Don't you 
think so, Kathie ? 

Kath. {to Forbes). What sort of things do you like, Mr. 
Forbes ? 

(Kath. and Forbes talk aside.) 

Lane (in low tone, to Eloise). I wish I might sing the 
song that is in my heart. 

Eloise (softly, dropping her eyes). What would it be ? 

Lane (tenderly). There is only one song worth singing, 
Miss James — Eloise ! "Love's Grand Sweet Song." 

Eloise {glancing about apprehensively). Hush, some one 
will hear you ! 

Lane (softly). But may I sing it some time — to you? 

Eloise (shyly). Oh, I — I 

Mrs. J. (briskly). Aren't we going to have any music? 
Mr. Lane, if you want to take your banjo in to the piano, one 
of the girls will strike notes for you to tune it by. 

Lane (embarrassed and strumming at his banjo). Oh, 
thank you, Mrs. Jordan, I think it is in tune now. (He sits 
erect in chair.) Now, everybody, what shall we sing first? 

(Every one is attentive.) 

Anne. Some college song ; something that all of us know. 
Grey. How about "Co-Co-Che Lunk " ? That is a 
good shouter. 

(Forbes whistles : — " I was seeing Nelly home.") 

Lane (approvingly). That's a good one, Forbes. Come 
on, we'll start off with that. 

(He plays a fciu chords on banjo. Every one commences to 
sing. Katy appears in doorway, her hair dishevelled 
and her apron half off.) 



AN ALARM OF FIRE 



*3 



Katy {trying to speak calmly). Oh, Mis 1 Jordan, please 
mum, I don't want to startle any of yez, but I think the old red 
barn's afire ! 

{General excitement and confusion.*) 

Lane (dropping his banjo). The old red barn on fire ! 
And there's not a fire engine within ten miles ! 

Grey (jumping up). Then we must form a bucket brigade. 
Eloise. Oh, a fire is a terrible thing ! 

(Covers her face with her hands.) 

Kath. And the red barn is so near the gardener's house ! 

Mrs. J. (wringing her hands). And there are three little 
new-born kittens in that barn ! They'll never be able to get 
out! 

Anne (distractedly). But why are we all standing here 
doing nothing ? We must help put it out. Come, all of you ! 
(She moves toward door, back.) Ambrose, you and the rest 
find all the buckets you can. 

Kath. I'll fetch the buckets from the kitchen ! 

(Rushes off, back.) 

Lane. I'll go to our house for more. Come along, Arthur, 
it's a short cut this way. 

(Lane and Grey rush off, r.) 

Forbes. I — I — I think a f-f-fire- extinguisher the best ! 

(Rushes off \,., unnoticed.) 

Anne (at door, excitedly). Come on, Eloise ! 

(Anne and Eloise rush off, back.) 

Mrs. J. (laboriously gathering up rug from floor). I've 
always heard that it was a good thing to smother a fire. This 
will help. 

(Exit back, panting and breathless as she carries rug. 
Short pause.) 

Enter Forbes, l., carrying a large, heavy fire-extinguisher. 
He does not notice that he is alofie. 



14 AN ALARM OF FIRE 

Forbes. H-h-here, you f-f-fellows, lend a hand. This'll 

p-p-put out any fire on record if it's w-w-worked right. I 

{Looks around.) Why, they've all g-g-gone I 

Enter Kath., back, carrying a bucket in each hand. 

Kath. (excitedly). Here are two buckets, and Katy has 
run on ahead with two more. I — oh, Mr. Forbes ! Why, 
where are all the rest ? 

Forbes. They m-m-must have g-g-gone. 

Kath. {advancing and eyeing fire-extinguisher). Where in 
the world did you get that ? 

Forbes. I remembered s-s-seeing it in the d-d-dining-room 
and took the 1-1-liberty of f-f- fetching it. No one else s-s-seemed 
to have th-th-thought of it. 

Kath. (fondly, aside). How well he talks when he is not 
thinking of himself! (To Forbes.) That is the very thing 
for putting out the fire. How very clever of you to have 
thought of it ! Come, let us use it. 

Forbes (placing fire-extinguisher carefully on floor). Oh, 
Miss J-J-J- Jordan, not just yet ! W-w-wait a second, I b-b-beg. 
I have waited ye-ye — weeks for this moment. I — I — I must 
speak ! 

Kath. (looking toward door over her shoulder). Oh, Mr. 
Forbes ! 

Forbes (drawing a deep breath and speaking very fast). I 
1-1-love you ; will you m-m-m — hang it — marry me? 

Kath. Oh — Mr. Forbes ! (Forbes moves toward her ; 
she retreats.) Look out for the buckets. I — I thought you 
cared for — were interested in — in Anne Lane. 

Forbes (in astonishment). I interested in M-M- Miss Lane? 
Wh-wh-whatever m-m-made you think that ? 

Kath. (coldly). The proof of my own eyes, sir. I saw 
you together just now. 

Forbes (puzzled and upset). Saw us together? Saw us 
w-w-what ? 

Kath. (trying to be angry). If you will have the truth, 
sir, why, I saw you take her hand and squeeze it, here in this 
very room, sir ! 

Forbes. I ? S-s-squeeze Miss L L-Lane's h-h-hand ? 

W-w-why (He suddenly remembers.) Oh, I — I — I — why, 

Katherine, she was g-g-giving me hope ! She s-s-said she'd 
h-h-help us ! (He holds out his arms.) 

Kath. (hesitating). Is that really so ? 



AN ALARM OF FIRE 15 

Forbes. On my h-h-honor ! I 1-1-love you pas-pas — tre- 
mendously, darn it ! 

Kath. {going close to him). Oh, Alfred ! (Forbes em- 
braces her, buckets and all, and stumbles against the fire-ex- 
tinguisher. Kath. draius back.) Oh, dear, don't you 
think we'd better be going to the fire? The rest will wonder 
what has become of us. 

Forbes. And they may be needing this. {Picks up heavy 
extinguisher with an effort.) I am ready to go to the e-e-ends 
of the earth now, my darling. 

Kath. (archly). You mean that you will go through fire 
and water for me? [She picks up her buckets.) 

Forbes (ardently). Again and again ! And through all 
the o-o-other elements ! {Sound of voices outside. Kath. 
and Forbes look at each other in dismay.) That s-s-sounds 
as if they were c-c-coming back ! 

Kath. Can the fire have been put out already? Have we 
been here as long as that ? Oh, what will mother say ? 

(Moves close to Forbes' s side.) 

Forbes. I'll explain to your m-m-mother, dearest. 
D-d-don't be afraid. 

Kath. I'm not afraid, only — only {Enter Mrs. J., 

back, carrying a garden watering pot ; she is out of breath and 
hot looking. Enter Eloise and Lane, each carrying a bed- 
room crockery pitcher. Enter Grey and Anne, he carrying 
the rug Mrs. J. had carried off, and Anne carrying a small 
glass pitcher. Katy brings up the rear of this melancholy 
procession with a kettle in one hand and a broom in the other. 
All are silent and sheepish looking, Katy, in the background, 
the most abashed of all. Kath., e?nbarrassed.) You don't 
mean to say that you've put it out already? AVe were coming 
with this {pointing to fire-extinguisher 'which Forbes still 
holds), only it is terribly heavy and we had to walk slowly 

Eloise {demurely). How very slowly you must have been 
walking, Kathie, not to have started yet. 

Forbes. Ts the f-f-f — (whistling, then quickly) the con- 
flagration out? 

Mrs. J. (wearily t sitting down in chair). There wasn't 
any fire. 

FOKBES } (***»"■)• N ° firC ' 



l6 AN ALARM OF FIRE 

{Every one shakes their heads % shamefacedly. Then Eloise 
begins to laugh.) 

Anne {coming forward). The fact is, Katherine, Katy 
saw the moon, quite big and red, rising behind the barn and 
she thought it was a fire. Teli them about it, Katy. 

Katy {injured). Sure, an' it had every appearance of a 
fire, mem. It happened this way, ye see. I was settin' on 
the kitchen step, lookin' at the fine night an' thinkin' I'd soon 
be havin' to go in an' stir the candy, when all of a sudden 
somethin' takes my eye.. The old red barn, over to the lift of 
us, ye all know, kinder took on a look o' bein' redder 'n it 
should be by rights. Well, thinks I to meself, what's come to 
the old red barn, thinks I, an' before I could think any farther 
there was a red light blazin' out through the windys of it. I 
was alius one fer actin', I was ; no settin' still an' thinkin' fer 
me! So I ses to meself, " Bless my petticoat if the red barn 
ain't a-fire ! " ses I. So I comes in, quiet like, and give the 
alarm. I'm rale sorry it wa'n't a rale fire, ladies an' gentle- 
men. Sure, an' I meant well. 

Forbes {heartily). It's the b-b-best mistake you ever 
m-m-made in your 1-1-life, Katy ! 

{He and Kath. smile at each other. Others exchange signifi- 
cant glances.) 

Katy. Thank you, sir. {To Mrs. J.) I think if you'll 
excuse me, mem, I'll just step out to the kitchen an' see if the 
candy's b'ilin' over. [Exit, back. 

Mrs. J. {springing to her feet). Oh, my stars, I forgot all 
about the taffy ! {Moves toward door, back.) 

Forbes {aside to Kath.). I'm all r-r-right now, I've 
g-g-got g-g-going. {To Mrs. J., detaining her.) M-m-madam, 
allow me to m-m-make a little s-s-speech. I'm not much 
g-g-good at t-t-talking until I get g-g-going, but Mrs. Jordan, 
your d-d-daughter has made me so h-h-happy this evening, 
that I f-f-feel as if I could t-t-talk forever ! ( Wipes his fore- 
head with his handkerchief.) It is a w-w-w — hot evening, 
isn't it ? 

(Kath. crosses to her mother and whispers. The men 
shake hands with Forbes, the girls cluster around Kath.) 

Katy {appearing at door, back). Please, Mis' Jordan, the 
candy's all b'iled down to nothin' and the cook' 11 scold some- 



AN ALARM OF FIRE 1 7 

thing awful fer spoilin' her saucepan ; but oh, my, the moon's 
shinin' out over the water somethin' grand I 

Lane. Hooray ! Come on, all. Let's go out and take 
another try at putting out the moon. 

(He and Eloise move toward door, R.) 

Forbes (taking Kath.'s hand). You have already put out 
the m-m-moon and all other 1-1-light for me, except your own 
d-d-dear eyes ! 

Mrs. J. (in dismay). Well, upon my word I (Tableau.) 



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